Party Across America - Book Excerpt

Oktoberfest-Zinzinnati

Place: Cincinnati, Ohio

Date: 3rd weekend in September

Website: www.oktoberfest-zinzinnati.com

Event Description

A multitude of midwestern cities pay homage to their strong German heritage in the months of September and October, but Cincy has taken the Oktoberfest celebration to another level. 600,000 people infiltrate its streets for two gluttonous days of dancing, eating, and andeine ganze nacht durchmachen (all night partying). This massive block-party began meekly in 1976, but its bier gardens, gourmet food vendors, and German style picnic tables, now engulfs six full city blocks.

Men, gather your finest lederhosen, green suspenders, and wooden clogs. Women, dust off your favorite dirndl dress, grab an apron, and braid that hair. Although the festival officially takes place on Saturday and Sunday, the Gemuetlichkeit Games kick off the celebration at noon on Thursday. These three contests, designed to build momentum for the weekend, are an Olympiad of classic German feats of strength. The first event, “Hammering Nails” is a highly complicated match during which contestants must hammer as many nails as possible into a tree stump within the allotted amount of time. “Beer Barrel Roll,” a game of mental prowess, awards players who can quickly roll a wooden barrel around the course. The grand finale is the “Bier Stein Race.” Madchens, or German beer girls, must run around a course, full biers in tow, without spilling.

The mayhem takes place along Fifth Street, from Race Street to Broadway, on Saturday from 11:00 am to midnight, and Sunday from 11:00 am to 10:00 pm. The opening ceremonies begin on Saturday at 10:30 am with a parade of men in short shorts, dark socks, and loud shoes, who tap the first keg at all tents along their march. The crowd responds to this initial tap with great enthusiasm, for a weekend of Bavarian excess is now underway. Long picnic tables line the tents, and polka musicians fill the air with their spirited notes. Hop from tent to tent, watch live entertainment along the way, and sample the delicacies of Oktoberfest. Bratwurst, potato salad, hotdogs, sauerkraut, smoked sausage, strudel, German cheesecake, and Bavarian chocolate cake will find you regardless of where you try to hide. Recent statistics from food vendors indicate that over 56,000 sausages and 80,000 bratwursts are consumed throughout the course of the weekend.

The Chicken Dance Song is a DJ’s surefire way to liven up a rigid wedding or bar mitzvah crowd, although Cincy has given a whole new meaning to this German ditty. The Crown Prince of Bavaria assisted the city in setting a Guinness World Record at the 1994 Oktoberfest, as over 48,000 people participated in the dance. Each year since, Oktoberfest tries to break this record as a new master of ceremonies leads the crowd in the World’s Largest Chicken Dance. Weird Al Yankovic led the 1999 festivities on his kazoo, and Verne Troyer, or Austin Powers’ “Mini Me” shook his little booty chicken style in 2002. Vince Neil, lead singer of Motley Crue, led the crowd in the 2004 World’s Largest Chicken Dance. Indecently, this spectacle was voted VH1’s “least metal moment” in the entire history of rock ‘n’ roll.

Transporation

Air: Book flights into Cincinnati / Northern Kentucky International Airport (CVG / www.cvgairport.com) which is located thirteen miles from downtown. Car rental agencies and taxis are available.

Oktoberfest Express: This shuttle runs from four park and ride locations around the Cincinnati. The Western Hills Plaza and Forest Park Park & Ride stops are dropped off at 6th and Race St. The UC Raymond Walters College in Blue Ash and Union Township Park & Ride stops are dropped off at 4th and Sycamore. Fares are $3 one-way and $5 round trip.

Southbank Shuttle: This shuttle runs along the Riverfront cities of Covington, Newport, and Cincinnati every fifteen minutes from designated stops until thirty minutes after the festival has ended. For exact shuttle bus stops visit www.tankbus.org/index.asp?id=1005&subid=2034b. Fares are $1 per way.

Taxis: Local cab companies include AAAYellow Cab (513-821-8294), Eastside Yellow Cab (513-528-6400), Community Cab (513-721-2100), and United Cab (513-251-1155).

Bus / Train: The Greyhound station is located at 1005 Gilbert Avenue. The Amtrak station is located at 1301 Western Avenue.

Accomodations

Hotels:Hotels: Downtown hotels within a shortdistance to the festival include Hilton (35 W. Fifth St. / 513-421-9100 / $199), Hyatt Regency (151 W. Fifth St. / 513-579-1234 / $169), Ramada (800 W. Eighth St. / 513-241-8660 / $79), and Garfield Suites (2 Garfield Pl. / 513-421-3355 / $94). For further listings visit www.downtowncincinnatihotels.com. Book a hotel room by June, if not earlier.

Tickets

Entrance to the Oktoberfest is free. Food is reasonably priced at $2 to $6 for à la carte items. Beer is reasonably priced, depending on the brand.

What to Pack

The Germans have a word that refers to thosepartygoers who overestimate their ability to handle the large quantities of beer that are available during Oktoberfest. Bierleichen, meaning “beer corpses,” is a term you should commit to memory before this party. The real Germans will love you for it.